Love: The Skill of Connection
Like Duolingo, but for Love: The Skill of Connection. Tomo turns the whole topic into a game you play five minutes a day, until it actually sticks.
For the part of you with thirty open tabs that never became anything.
A short one: 12 levels across 2 sections, about 24 minutes end to end, roughly 5 days at five minutes a day. It moves through The Daily Practice of Care and Navigating the Rough Patches. It starts from scratch.
Free forever · No credit card · iPhone & Android
Key ideas in Love: The Skill of Connection
- Love as an active choice versus a passive feeling
- Identifying a bid for connection in a mundane context
- Turning toward requires simple acknowledgement of the other person
- Ignoring a bid (turning away) is often more damaging than a brief argument
- Turning toward builds a 'savings account' of goodwill for the relationship
- Small, daily interactions like morning greetings or evening check-ins build the foundation of trust
- Grand gestures (like expensive vacations) cannot fix a relationship where daily bids are ignored
- Every shared observation is an invitation to understand the partner's inner world
- Distinguishing between turning toward, away, or against a bid
- Noticing the 'why' helps you respond to the emotion rather than just the facts
- The value of consistency over grand gestures
- Active noticing of the intent behind a partner's words
- Love is expressed through distinct behavioral categories
- What feels like a 'bonus' to one person is a 'necessity' to another
- Specific actions like doing dishes or giving a card represent different emotional currencies
- Recognizing the different 'currencies' of care
You've tried the other tabs
Thirty open tabs. Four facts you actually kept.
You watched. You nodded. By Sunday it was gone.
One answer, then back to scrolling.
Eight weeks. You meant to finish. You didn't.
Tomo gives Love: The Skill of Connection the Duolingo treatment: levels, streaks, and quick quizzes that test what you just learned. That game loop is what the tabs above never had, so it's the one you actually finish.
Here's what playing it feels like
A real question from this course. Take your best guess.
Picture your partner pointing at a plain grey squirrel and saying, 'Look at that little guy.' In the language of relationships, what is this mundane comment usually called?
Get it right to open this lesson and 11 more in the app.
Where Love: The Skill of Connection takes you
Move beyond the 'lightning bolt' myth and learn the practical habits that build lasting intimacy. Discover how to notice bids for connection, speak your partner's emotional language, and repair rifts with grace.
- 1
The Daily Practice of Care
- The Art of Noticing
- Speaking Their Language
- 2
Navigating the Rough Patches
- The Skill of Repair
- Understanding Your Wiring
2 sections · 4 units · 12 levels. Built to play, not to enroll.
You pick the voice
Love: The Skill of Connection is taught in the The Storyteller style: every lesson is a story. Want a different feel? In the app you can spin up the same topic in any of Tomo's teaching styles. Same facts, totally different vibe.
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Start Love: The Skill of Connection today.
Download Tomo, search Love: The Skill of Connection, and play your first lesson in under a minute.